b.read.crumbs : Hermiting

Posted on May 28, 2024by Deborah-Zenha

hermit ~ noun -  her·​mit ˈhər-mət  : one that retires from society and lives in solitude

About the Hermit card

Posssible meaning of Key 9: The Hermit : A teacher or counselor or guide, someone who shines a light to lead you home; someone who aids you in self-study (not self-involvement) and the exploration of consciousness; the role that you play or should be playing in this world. Sometimes, though, a Hermit is just a Hermit, and you need to become one, at least for a little while.

Introverted writers are already drawn to the reclusive life, but the world keeps sucking us back. They want us to engage with society in order to promote our work and ourselves, to hawk our wares on multiple levels. You can do it virtually, they say. You can market yourself on social media and podcasts, so that’s not like exposing yourself at all, they say. Change the way you look at it, they say. Learn the ways of extroverts and emulate that, they say. Rip the skin off your frame and dive into a vat of acid, I say. It’s all the same thing.

Introverts who write will be unpleasantly surprised to learn that they are expected to become reality stars before they’re published. The drive to promote and market oneself as well as one’s work is out of control. A line must be drawn. Here, then, are a few hermit crab pieces that address this insanity plus a link to a free story only reclusive authors will understand.

10 EASY & FREE WAYS TO BECOME A RECLUSIVE AUTHOR, MAKE MILLION$, AND LOSE WEIGHT WHILE YOU SLEEP

If you hope to become a successful recluse, you must first take your seclusion seriously. This means treating your lifestyle the way you’d treat a business. You have to build your recluse brand and start promoting it long before you actually withdraw to your hermitage. Here are ten things to do right away.

Define your reclusive brand. Be first, be best, or be different. Failing that, be loudest.

Build your reclusive platform. It’s never too soon to start promoting yourself as a reclusive author. What’s the point of writing a book or story or article if no one’s heard of you? Marketing should be your first priority at every stage of your career.

Have an elevator pitch. Traditionally an elevator pitch was a short summary that could be delivered to your companions during an elevator ride (about 30-60 seconds), but the wise Recluse will keep it much shorter to accommodate today’s attention deficient society. Example: Hi, I’m ______, a Reclusive Author. You can buy my books online. Now go away.

Prepare your reclusive author photo and bio. Both should reflect your brand. Are you a dark and moody recluse, or a fun-loving eccentric? Be sure to keep your chosen persona consistent across platforms.

Get reviewed. Encourage your friends to spread the word about your fabulous reclusive journey for you so that you can maintain the appearance of humility.

Launch your reclusive author website. Master the art of SEO and meta tags, add fresh content daily, be sure to include a contact page, put your subscription button (you do have a newsletter, don’t you?) front and center, and keep your collection of affiliate links and purchase links grouped together in a highly visible area of your site.

Embrace social media. No one will take you seriously if you aren’t making at least ten posts about your isolated life on at least five of the top eight social sites.

Build your subscriber list. Offer incentives to encourage people to sign up for your newsletter. Some suggestions are: a top ten list of hermitages to visit, a short story or poem about your reclusive author life, or a chance to win a rare sit-down dinner and conversation with you in your secluded writing spot.

Cross pollinate. Exchange blog posts, interviews, and links with your reclusive author friends.

Join the Anti-Society of Reclusive Authors International (ASRAI). Networking opportunities galore!

Once you’ve completed these all-important preparations, you’re ready to move on to the next step in your quest to become a slim and wealthy Reclusive Author—choosing a hermitage. Get “The Top 5 Must-Have Hermitage Features” when you subscribe to the Only Hermits in the House newsletter. (click here) Just $59.99 per month!

THE ANTI-SOCIETY OF RECLUSIVE AUTHORS INTERNATIONAL

an abecedarian manifesto

A soul in search of authenticity requires solitude above all else. As writers, we

Believe this is the most vital element in the development of our

Creative spirit. We who choose to live outside the brazen world, to seek

Deliberately the core of human experience, must resist the ruthless

Efforts of that world to bleed us of our life force. We claim the

Freedom to keep our own company, to rest in silence, and to follow the

Guidance of a whispering muse by listening with our hearts as well as our ears.

How else are we to excavate our true stories and our innate wisdom if not through

Individual exploration and constant, mindful attention to the direction of our soul’s

Journey?  We believe in the objective value of sincere self-

Knowledge, which is the child of curiosity. We know that the

Light of understanding  is most easily  seen and dispersed  from the

Mountain top. From there, we aim to broadcast a beacon of hope and healing as we

Name the joys and aches and unbearable burdens of life for ourselves and for

Others. We believe it is our duty to salvage damaged hearts with words of common truth, to

Pen the unspeakable and the obscured. We maintain that

Quiet contemplation is the headspring that renews imagination, and we

Resolve to keep true to the pursuit our art, to artistic exploration, and to stay

Steady on the path of sincere investigation into human nature.  We happily

Travel far and fearlessly into the abyss of existence, to unite with the cosmic

Unconscious in order to retrieve its secrets. We believe that engaging in seclusion is a

Virtue that rewards abundantly those who practice it. We believe

Writers are more than hucksters of personality or slaves to books of face or insta toks or

X twits. We admit that we have failed often, and we bare our scars and sorrow so that

You will never feel alone with yours. We are Cellulani, a new constellation in the

Zodiac, and we’re watching everything.

FIND YOUR HERMIT NAME

Your Hermit Name is the first two letters of your first name + the first three letters of your middle name followed by a title from the list below and ending with the first word of the first street you lived on.

For example, if your name is Jane Marie and you were born in August and your very first place of residence was a house on Whisper Lane, your hermit name would be Jamar the Hermit Penner of Whisper.

YOUR BIRTH MONTH

• Jan- Misanthropic Author

• Feb – Reclusive Scribbler

• Mar – Overly-focused Writer

• Apr – Unlonely Scribe

• May – Isolated Wordspinner

• June – Timid Bard

• July – Withdrawn Wordsmith

• Aug – Hermit Penner

• Sept – Autonomous Composer

• Oct – Altricial Scrivener

• Nov – Independent Word Stringer

• Dec – Solitary Litterateur

ONE RETRO THING

Free PDF version of “The Cadaver Waltzed at Noon,” my reclusive author story that appeared in Murder, They Wrote II presented by Jessica Fletcher, edited by Elizabeth Foxwell

Cadaver-Waltzed-at-Noon-bordered-2Download

ONE YUMMY THING

Hermit Cookie Recipe

Now go write something in a secluded place.

You can read previous issues of b.read.crumbs here.